Unplugging for 10 Days

Every October and April, my church holds a General Conference.  This meeting is broadcast globally for all the women of our church to hear from our leaders and our prophet.  It is a beautiful meeting that inspires, motivates, and blesses my life.  One of the greatest reasons I decided to join The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (The Restored Church) is because we believe that God still speaks to humankind and provides guidance for our lives.  Having the opportunity regularly to hear from our prophet and hear what God wants for us is crucial to my own happiness and confidence in life.
In the most recent meeting, held the weekend of October 6-7, our prophet, Russell M. Nelson, counseled us to hold a 10 Day Social Media Fast.  He also asked us to omit any other sources of media from our lives that bring impure thoughts to our minds.  As we unplugged for 10 days, he asked us to record the impressions we received and follow through with them.

When I first heard his request, I was excited to follow the prophet's counsel.  I have lived long enough to know that when I follow his counsel (as he is the mouthpiece for God on the earth today), I am blessed in ways I had never considered.  My second thought was how am I to run a business where my primary platform is social media, without being on social media.  However, he gave no caveats and in my heart of hearts, I knew I needed to follow this counsel and fear not.  I was a little nervous, but I replaced fear with faith and began my fast the very next day.
Today, marks day 10 of my fast.  I have learned more than I ever thought possible.  I would like to share those things with you in an effort to inspire you to heed this counsel and unplug.  It will only benefit you.  Now, don't get me wrong, I am passionate about my business and plan to continue using social media as my platform, but I also plan to have stronger parameters around my time spent engaging online to protect myself and my family from the dangers I realized I had become susceptible to.

My Most Significant Impressions

1. Prior to the fast, I had been frustrated for WEEKS about how addled my brain felt.  I was suffering from intense mental fatigue and despite my best efforts, I could not figure out how to come out of the fog this was causing.  I was scattered, irritable, and rushed in every way.  Unplugging from a constant barrage of information and unnecessary urgency finally gave my brain the solace is had been needing.  So, unplugging on a weekly basis for one day a week will become my new normal.  Sundays which I already use as a day of Rest will be taken up a notch!

2. I realized what my REAL priorities are! My marriage, my children, my family and friends, my spiritual relationship with God, and my business.  However, the time I was spending in what I said were my most important priorities did not quite match up.  I found a super helpful YouTube Video that I have taken into practice and it is helping me align my activities with my priorities.  If you have 30 minutes, it is worth your time! After a week of using this time management system, my productivity, peace of mind, and priorities have sky-rocketed.



3. I was reminded how important it is to listen to that still small voice.  Some call it a gut feeling, intuition... I call it the Holy Spirit.  When you hear truth and act on it, your are blessed immeasurably and often in ways you would not have foreseen.  My family relationships, especially my marriage, feel more connected.  My mood and energy are where they have longed to be for months.  My relationship with God has become more in tune.  Being a woman and a mother on the earth at this time is not a coincidence.  I am grateful to be alive at this time.  The responsibilities are great, but I am up to the challenge.
 I am so grateful for our prophet's message and that I took what seemed like a risk and heeded his counsel.  If you'd like to see his message in its entirety, here you go. Enjoy and if you choose to take the social media fast challenge, let me know! I would love to hear about your experiences.

 

Mental Fatigue

A few weeks ago, Jared and I had a tough heart to heart.  One of his concerns was that I don't talk to him.  I was side swiped.  I honestly was thinking, "I talk to you on the daily! You share all about your day and I am a great listener!" Those are true statements, but Jared's was also true.  I don't do much talking about MY thoughts, MY feelings, MY opinions, MY challenges, MY wins.  I don't ENGAGE in conversation.  Listening to him and coordinating the family schedule isn't enough for him and the truth is it isn't enough for me either, but I have been suffering from mental fatigue so it is about all I could manage. 

Even as I attempted to reflect on how to address his concerns, I got stuck in the black hole that is my mind.  I would spend a few seconds thinking on one thing and then zap to another thing and to another and to another.  My brain is worn out, y'all! 

Photo Source: Stress Relief Wizard

This kind of scared me! I am a woman of action!  While that is important, being still and taking time to center oneself is equally, if not more important.  

Jared gets hours each week ALONE.  Driving to and from work, lunch hours, etc provide ample time to think and reflect and organize his mind.  On the other hand, I get minutes a week to do those things.  I am almost NEVER alone and being a mom is NOISY.  From the demands of the children, to the media devices, to meeting the needs of others finding time to think had totally fallen off my list.

Today, I got 15 minutes alone on the way to a church meeting.  I revelled in the silence.  It was glorious!  And it allowed me to think of ways I could intentionally put silence BACK into my regular routine. Here is what I know works and what I plan to go back to!

1. Wake up earlier than your family.  You're going to tell me that this is HARD! And it is at first.  Then, you realize the beautiful opportunity it is and fall in love with those extra quiet minutes you give yourself.  And don't wake up and get on your phone or other mobile device! Wake up and read something wonderful--I recommend scriptures or classic literature.  Something timeless.  Spend time meditating and/or praying.  Reconnect with yourself as you begin each day and it will change everything.

2. Steal moments throughout the day.  If you see your children are happily entertaining themselves, quietly excuse yourself to your closet or your bathroom or your backyard.  Take some deep breaths, meditate, pray, visualize your dreams.  It probably sounds hokey, but reminding yourself of your righteous desires will help you make choices during the day that will actually help you make those things happen.  

3. Ask your spouse, partner, friends for help.  Depending on how often you need time alone ask for support.  Whether that is a spouse who bathes the children so you can go on a quiet walk around the block or a friend that watches your children so you can attend the temple or another spiritually uplifting activity.  Plan those things into your day or your week or your month so that they happen.  Intentional living really is key here! 

Photo Source: HRM Online

4. Schedule down time daily.  I do so much better when I actually PLAN to have down time.  Otherwise I will run until I am past empty and ultimately snap at my children or feel completely overwhelmed.  I have learned that a minimum of 30 minutes down time as part of my daily life is essential to my sanity.  I have stopped feeling guilty about it because I makes every other part of my day run more smoothly when I have it.  

5.  Give yourself a break! Being a mom is hard! Everyone in our lives relies on us and makes demands on our time.  If we fail to look out for ourselves, we can create mental fatigue that permeates our lives and keeps us from loving the lives we are creating.  Always remember, you ARE enough.  You ARE doing better than you even think you are.  And you don't have to do it alone.  Motherhood should not feel like martyrdom.   

I, for one, am tired of feeling mentally exhausted.  I am tired of feeling like a victim in my own life. I need a reset and plan to start tomorrow by waking up early and beginning my day reconnecting with myself and my God.  One day at a time, one intentional choice that honors me at a time, one breath at a time and I know I will be back on track to living the life of Essentialism I crave. 

These are steps that I know have helped me.  They are not backed by science! For further information on mental fatigue, here are some articles I found online.

Signs you have mental fatigue: https://www.powerofpositivity.com/7-signs-mental-fatigue/

Ways to beat mental fatigue: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/leslie-davenport/chronic-fatigue_b_1013186.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/imperfect-spirituality/201507/4-things-do-when-your-brain-is-tired

I also found the book Essentialism by Greg McKewon to be key in helping me identify where and how to make changes in my life that combat mental fatigue.  

https://gregmckeown.com/book/

I'm Baaaaaaaaacccccccccckkkkkkkkk!

Soooo, I am back to blogging!
I took a very very very long time off and I have missed chronicling our lives and sharing content that is uplifting and fun!
It would take way to long to update you on the last 15 months of our lives, so I will share the top 5 things from that time and we'll consider you all caught up.  Deal? DEAL!

1.  In August, (so just a year ago) I discovered that the major respiratory problems I had been dealing with for the better part of a year were because of an allergic reaction to my chickens.  Well, not my chickens.  Their POOP! The fatigue, chronic cough, pneumonia, all of it was because of POOP.  It was devastating to learn that in order to get better, the chickens had to go.  After fighting my HOA for months and falling in love with backyard chicken farming, this was a heartbreaking experience.  But, being able to breathe again and climb my stairs without losing my breath has been wonderful.  I miss my chickens every time I chop veggies and have to remind myself I don't need to save the scraps.  They are forever part of my heart.

2. PTO mom! My sweet friend, Rhea, recruited me to be part of the PTO powerhouse at our local elementary school.  Of course, I said yes because it sounded like FUN.  And it was fun being with my friends and doing awesome and exciting things for the students and the school.  What was NOT fun was the moms who decided they didn't like us and who said really mean things about us on social media.  That was NOT FUN.  It actually hurt a lot and knocked the wind out of my sails for awhile.  But being able to raise more money than ever before, finishing two huge projects at the school, bringing a BMX show in for students, putting on half a dozen awesome, family-friendly events with record numbers was definitely worth it.  But, I decided not to do it again.  It is my last year with a child home full-time and I wanted to have the flexibility to do whatever WE wanted when WE wanted!

3. Church service! For those of you who don't know, I am a member of the LDS Church.  We do not have a paid ministry, so all of the operation of the church is done by its members. Last August, I was asked to serve as the Primary President.  This means I have had stewardship over the children's program at church for a year now.  I am responsible for nearly 50 children, their teachers and other leaders in the Primary (about 30 adults).  Guys that is quite the MENTAL LOAD! It has been one of the most fun things I have been able to do for my Savior.  I love being with the children, but it is quite a process and responsibility.

ALSO, do you see a pattern?  All of these things happened/started in AUGUST of last year! Hahaha.  Let's just say last year was a whirlwind!

4. Energy Profiling! If you haven't heard of Carol Tuttle and her work, you need to look her up.  She is changing my life with her books, her social media content, and her knowledge that she is sooo willing to share. In a year of struggle, I have learned that I NO longer need to STRUGGLE.  That I have more power over my own experience than I previously thought.  I am learning to set boundaries and learning to bring my emotional wellness to where I want it to be.  To truly BE ME without apologizing for it! Seriously, look her up and let her guide you to some legit healing!

Okay, I got 4 and now I'm tired, so good night y'all! Please tell me what kind of content you'd like to see on my blog! I would love to hear from you!

Hiatus

I have been barely treading water the last couple of months. That is momlife sometimes! Just gotta go with it. I feel a little overwhelmed to do individual posts to update everyone! Instead, I am going to post a photo update!!!!!!!!

Handsome Face and I spent our Anniversary celebrating at Epcot! Trivia: on the night he proposed, Jared took me to Epcot JUST TO SEE THE FIREWORKS! We had a great time!

Weston who is usually full-throttle fell asleep at church and I got a solid hour and a half of snuggles.

I spent May working my butt off in my business. I have the best co-workers.

Soccer season ended! The boys played hard and developed more skills. Very proud of them all.

I got a well-deserved mom-cation with my three besties in NC to see Bethany and new baby, Benson.

If you missed our music video, click here!

With soccer over, special nights are back! Love spending one on one time with my sweet babes.

My amazing Sunday school class completed a scripture challenge I gave them. We celebrated with pizza and board games! 

Mother's Day 2017. My children and dear husband spoiled me and gave me the most beautiful and touching homemade gifts!

The saga that is the HOA trying to banish my chickens has been resolved. Our girls can stay and a fence is going up soon!

End of school year celebrations!

Mrs. Fields will undoubtedly be Grayson's favorite teacher of all time. He had a fantastic year.

Mrs. LaRue was a lovely teacher and Landon adores her!

Mrs. Morales was an excellent teacher. Ethan grew academically and as a leader in her class.

JoAnn and I got to see Dave Ramsey live! It was amazing. I have big financial goals and Dave is helping me make my dreams a reality.

It just never ends!

Blueberry picking with Gigi! This is definitely becoming an annual thing.

Gigi knows how to spoil me! Chicken boots for the Chicken Lady!

Took all the kids to the beach. Not entirely by myself, as some amazing friends joined us. But, it was a big deal for me to do this on my own and I am still talking about how awesome I am. Hahaha.

Poor Landon got his fingers caught in the door jamb at church. It resulted in an ER visit. Thankfully no broken bones and we were able to glue things back in place.

This boy has a huge vocabulary and melts me heart with this look and a few others.

Drove to Gainesville with our favorite family, the Schroth's, and posed with the Ants and explored the Museum and thoroughly enjoyed the Butterfly exhibit.

After 10 months, Jared and I finished our Budapest puzzle. We enjoy the challenge, but more importantly, we enjoy the talks and singing that occur during the time we spent together.

Got a visit from my dear friend, Elisabeth! She even volunteered to wake up early and work out with me. I miss her and love her!

12 Years!

I am blogging about our anniversary a little early this year! I just have been thinking about Jared a lot lately and how much I love him. It may sound crazy, but when you are LDS and all you've ever wanted your entire life is to be married and have a family and then you get married and THEN you go through a divorce and then a temple divorce, you pretty much feel like a BIG, FAT FAILURE!
I recently had the opportunity to talk to a friend about my divorce and how it all went down. It made me ever more grateful for prayer and the knowledge that my Heavenly Father is REALLY there and HE knew my path before I did. I am beyond grateful for Jared and the second chance he has given me to have the life of my dreams.

I wanted to share about our engagement. I haven't officially journaled this on my blog and seems like a great time since I found this picture!

In the fall of 2004, I knew the engagement was coming. I knew, because he had talked to my parents and they totally spilled the beans. Or maybe I pried it out of them...

I think Jared was taking it slowly for my sake. He knew what'd I'd been through, he knew it had only been a year and a half prior. He knew I was scared out of my mind.

We had been dating for about 7 months when he asked me. He took me to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, where we had had our first date. After dinner, we went to Epcot JUST TO WATCH THE FIREWORKS!!!!!!!! I was freaking out on the inside. Who takes someone to Epcot JUST TO WATCH THE FIREWORKS!!!!!!!! I seriously am not sure he would have gotten a yes if he had actually asked in such a public location.

Following the fireworks, we left and I started to think, "Okay, maybe this isn't happening. And if it doesn't, I WAS WAY OFF."

Instead of driving me home, he took me to a lake where we had had one of our earliest dates. It was a beautiful night, but all of a sudden, he stopped and looked pretty disconcerted. I asked what was wrong. He answered, "Where's the dock?" I looked and pointed to the middle of the lake, "I think it is floating there in the middle of the lake." (This was in 2004 when our area was hit by 4 hurricanes in a row.)

Completely flustered, he got down on one knee (this was all supposed to happen at the end of the dock, you see) and asked me to be his wife! Of course, I said YES!

12 years later, I would say YES all over again!

Sweet Potato Brownies

I LOVE treats! But, as I learned on the cleanse I did, treats are my nemesis. It is interesting to discover that things you ate regularly (more regularly than you'd even care to admit) make you feel so crummy! Before the cleanse, I didn't attribute changes to my body's physical and mental health to the foods I was eating. After eating so clean for three weeks, and really being mindful about what I was eating, I continue to learn so much!
For example, yesterday was my baby's birthday AND Easter. Candy and treats were abounding all week. I held off pretty well, but yesterday I told myself I could enjoy the festivities, including the food. Here is what happened: it didn't taste a great as I remembered and I not only had a bellyache, I was grumpy! Today, my kids were all in tears about menial things and they are tired and grumpy too!
Don't try to tell me sugar isn't bad for you! Hahaha.

I have been wanting to try a recipe my friend, Michelle, sent me and today seemed like a good day. There are still treats in the house and I WILL NOT eat them! But, I will eat my Sweet Potato Brownies! Don't be fooled, they do not taste exactly like brownies, but they are good and guilt free! Give them a try and let me know what you think.

Ingredients

1 cup of cooked sweet potato, smashed (about one medium sweet potato) 1/2 cup of cashew butter 2 tablespoons of maple syrup 1/4 cup of unsweetened cocoa powder 1 good size handful of carob chips (I used three pieces of dark chocolate roughly chopped) 1 egg, whisked

Preheat oven 350. Spray loaf pan. Mix all ingredients together, except carob chips. Add those in last. Put in loaf pan. Bake for 25 minutes.
After they are cooled put it in the fridge. They are best served cold.

Weston is 2!

I spent Weston's first birthday crying the ENTIRE day! I fared much better this year. He is 2 and he is perfect and he is totally a toddler. No denying it!
Weston is talking up a storm and loving life. He is fiercely independent and can even peel his own orange over the trashcan like a boss. And in case you were wondering, he can also open the fridge and thinks he can do almost everything BY HIMSELF!

This year he had an Easter birthday, so there were egg hunts galore. And Candy is one of his newest words! 

He is still very much the baby of the family despite the fact that he is quickly growing up! He wears a size 9 SHOE! I just cannot believe that. The older children continue to spoil him and let him get away with most things. We will be in serious trouble!

Happy birthday to my selfie-lovin, cake eatin, happy koala baby!