Mental Fatigue

A few weeks ago, Jared and I had a tough heart to heart.  One of his concerns was that I don't talk to him.  I was side swiped.  I honestly was thinking, "I talk to you on the daily! You share all about your day and I am a great listener!" Those are true statements, but Jared's was also true.  I don't do much talking about MY thoughts, MY feelings, MY opinions, MY challenges, MY wins.  I don't ENGAGE in conversation.  Listening to him and coordinating the family schedule isn't enough for him and the truth is it isn't enough for me either, but I have been suffering from mental fatigue so it is about all I could manage. 

Even as I attempted to reflect on how to address his concerns, I got stuck in the black hole that is my mind.  I would spend a few seconds thinking on one thing and then zap to another thing and to another and to another.  My brain is worn out, y'all! 

Photo Source: Stress Relief Wizard

This kind of scared me! I am a woman of action!  While that is important, being still and taking time to center oneself is equally, if not more important.  

Jared gets hours each week ALONE.  Driving to and from work, lunch hours, etc provide ample time to think and reflect and organize his mind.  On the other hand, I get minutes a week to do those things.  I am almost NEVER alone and being a mom is NOISY.  From the demands of the children, to the media devices, to meeting the needs of others finding time to think had totally fallen off my list.

Today, I got 15 minutes alone on the way to a church meeting.  I revelled in the silence.  It was glorious!  And it allowed me to think of ways I could intentionally put silence BACK into my regular routine. Here is what I know works and what I plan to go back to!

1. Wake up earlier than your family.  You're going to tell me that this is HARD! And it is at first.  Then, you realize the beautiful opportunity it is and fall in love with those extra quiet minutes you give yourself.  And don't wake up and get on your phone or other mobile device! Wake up and read something wonderful--I recommend scriptures or classic literature.  Something timeless.  Spend time meditating and/or praying.  Reconnect with yourself as you begin each day and it will change everything.

2. Steal moments throughout the day.  If you see your children are happily entertaining themselves, quietly excuse yourself to your closet or your bathroom or your backyard.  Take some deep breaths, meditate, pray, visualize your dreams.  It probably sounds hokey, but reminding yourself of your righteous desires will help you make choices during the day that will actually help you make those things happen.  

3. Ask your spouse, partner, friends for help.  Depending on how often you need time alone ask for support.  Whether that is a spouse who bathes the children so you can go on a quiet walk around the block or a friend that watches your children so you can attend the temple or another spiritually uplifting activity.  Plan those things into your day or your week or your month so that they happen.  Intentional living really is key here! 

Photo Source: HRM Online

4. Schedule down time daily.  I do so much better when I actually PLAN to have down time.  Otherwise I will run until I am past empty and ultimately snap at my children or feel completely overwhelmed.  I have learned that a minimum of 30 minutes down time as part of my daily life is essential to my sanity.  I have stopped feeling guilty about it because I makes every other part of my day run more smoothly when I have it.  

5.  Give yourself a break! Being a mom is hard! Everyone in our lives relies on us and makes demands on our time.  If we fail to look out for ourselves, we can create mental fatigue that permeates our lives and keeps us from loving the lives we are creating.  Always remember, you ARE enough.  You ARE doing better than you even think you are.  And you don't have to do it alone.  Motherhood should not feel like martyrdom.   

I, for one, am tired of feeling mentally exhausted.  I am tired of feeling like a victim in my own life. I need a reset and plan to start tomorrow by waking up early and beginning my day reconnecting with myself and my God.  One day at a time, one intentional choice that honors me at a time, one breath at a time and I know I will be back on track to living the life of Essentialism I crave. 

These are steps that I know have helped me.  They are not backed by science! For further information on mental fatigue, here are some articles I found online.

Signs you have mental fatigue: https://www.powerofpositivity.com/7-signs-mental-fatigue/

Ways to beat mental fatigue: https://www.huffingtonpost.com/leslie-davenport/chronic-fatigue_b_1013186.html

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/imperfect-spirituality/201507/4-things-do-when-your-brain-is-tired

I also found the book Essentialism by Greg McKewon to be key in helping me identify where and how to make changes in my life that combat mental fatigue.  

https://gregmckeown.com/book/