Hot Mess

I am a hot mess people. I just don't feel like myself. This is going to be personal, so feel free to ignore this post if you'd like. So many things have happened this year that have been hard. Let's see:
Adjusting to life as a mom of two (way harder than I thought it'd be for me)
Short selling our home (very emotional and stressful)
Living apart from Jared and my life for 2 months (so hard and something I don't ever want to do again)
Having a third baby when I was by no means ready to be pregnant or upgrade to three quite yet and the guilt I've had for feeling that way
On the upside:
Grayson is awesome and we love that he is in our family
Ethan is an amazing little boy, sweet and kind and so many other wonderful things
Jared is the world's best husband for putting up with me and all my craziness
Getting to be with my family for an extended period of time, I never get to do that
The opportunity to bring another special boy into this world will be great and it is about time I got over the shock

I have so many negative feelings and can't seem to shake them. As a therapist, I "know" what I should do, but for some reason I struggle to do those exact things. Hopefully being with Jared daily will help and getting back into my life: friends, job, church, etc, will help me turn my frown upside down. I shouldn't be ungrateful for all the blessings in my life because my path got a little windy.

Happy Birthday Uncle Tony

Today we celebrated Uncle Tony's 26th birthday. We had a Hesson-style feast with lobster tails, steak, baked potatoes, carrots, homemade bread, and a mustache cake! Crazy to think we could consume so much food just two days after our Thanksgiving feast, but that's how we roll.

Thanks to the efforts of my mom (she baked the cake), Jared (he cut the cake), and me (I frosted the cake), we successfully created a mustache cake.
It was Ethan's idea to make the mustache cake. His word for mustache is "splish-splash" and it is hilarious.

Just two brothers riding in a wagon on Thanksgiving Day.

Fun times in pajamas and underpants!

Happy Birthday Grayson!

Sweet Baby Grayson is 1 today! Hard to believe it was just a year ago that I felt those first contractions. Labor with Grayson was CRAZY! Just three and a half hours from the time I felt the first contraction. He was in a hurry to get here and still seems to be in a hurry. It is a lot of work keeping up with his older brother. Grayson always makes us laugh. He is so friendly and happy. He is excited to be a big brother and has learned so many things this year. Here are some highlights from his birthday gathering. Cake so good! He even was sweet enough to share with Uncle Joe (who was taking photos).
He devoured the cake. He ate so quickly it was as if he feared we would swipe it at any moment.

So good!

Anxiously awaiting the cake while we sing Happy Birthday. Sorry no photos of the cake. It was delicious, but not so pretty. I intended to make a baseball, but in my haste ruined it. I was so upset, I cried and then spelled "birthday" as "birtday" because I couldn't see! Hilarious now. Devastating then.

Just some pictures

Ethan painting. Tony made him a cool little palette. He is quite the budding artist.
Three monkeys in a tub and Uncle Joe.

Ethan helping Jared wash the car. He did a great job!

Grayson once again getting into something he shouldn't. He is the cutest, but so naughty!

Me at 25 weeks pregnant. I feel huge considering I had nearly 10 lbs to lose from Grayson when I got pregnant. And, yes, I'm fishing for a compliment! LOL!

Halloween Happenings

So, Ethan insisted on being "Green" for Halloween this year. That is his nickname for Luigi. He is in love with Super Mario Bros and Mario Karts. It's pretty hilarious. Grayson was a pumpkin because I feel that every cute little baby should spend their first Halloween as a pumpkin. We went to the Alligator Farm's Creatures of the Night on Saturday and Ethan loved it! He touched a gator, a snake, and survived to tell the tale. Stacey and I hated the large crowds and being on our feet for so long. We are pregnant party poopers! Sunday night, we did a loop around my parent's neighborhood and Ethan even said "Trick or Treat." Man, it was so cute! Here are some photos. Happy Luigi!
Cute Grayson!

Riding his cool new bike! (Thanks, Uncle Tony.)

Tired Pumpkin!

Sad Luigi! I put on the mustache or what Ethan calls a "splish-splash" and he did not like it.

If any of you care to know...

I am in love with Angel Dear products. They make these super-soft blankies (which are small enough to not suffocate your infant) and matching pillows. Ethan was given them as a gift when he was born, complete with his name monogrammed on there. In our family we have the duck and the hippo. New baby will bring the monkey into our family in February. They can be purchased at baby boutiques across the US or at amazon.com.

Ethan is 3!!!!!!!

Ethan turned three on Friday! We really can't believe it. He is so grown up and he knows it. In honor of being three, here are three things Ethan learned this year. 1. To go potty like a big boy! 2. To pray! 3. How to be an awesome big brother! We are so proud of him and all he has accomplished this year. One thing is certain, we love having Ethan in our family and are truly blessed to be his parents. Nothing to do with the birthday, but a cute spaghetti face can't be ignored.
3 year olds are really good at helping out. Ethan is helping Uncle Tony move a sprinkler.

Lightening McQueen birthday cake! I think it turned out pretty great.

Happy Birthday, Ethan!

Happy family!

(Halloween fun to come)

Pumpkin Carving

We carved our annual pumpkin this year. Jared wasn't with us, so I had to fly solo. Usually I just sit back and watch, but this time I had to step up and make it happen. In the end, I think my efforts were successful. Our move went well and due to complicated circumstances that I have pretty negative feelings about, we are currently living apart. It is so sad and I HATE it! I am a single mom, pregnant wreck and miss Jared terribly. Hopefully things will work out so we can all be under the same roof soon. Until then, I will be doing things on my own as I did the pumpkin carving. Thank heavens for my wonderful parents who have opened their very quiet lives to us and are helping me carry this burden. Hope I'm as good a parent some day. That's enough ho-hum, so on to the merriment. See our pumpkin pics below.

Night time jack-o-lantern. He wanted the pumpkin to look like his pumpkin shirt. I think I did pretty good at accomplishing that.

Ethan loves pumpkin carving day!

Grayson hung out on the swing with Gigi. He is so cute.

Ethan helped me carve the pumpkin! He thought that the insides looked like snot and was justified in thinking so when we pushed out the nose piece I cut and it was followed by pumpkin boogers! He loved it. What a boy he is!

Finally

Our house has SOLD! Finally this monster that is called a short-sale is coming to an end. It's only taken 7 months; however, despite the roller coaster it has been, it has also been a huge blessing. Given the housing market here in sunny Florida, we are walking away with the best possible scenario. So, our patience has totally paid off. Since Jared is so close to graduation and the sale has sadly left us with empty pockets, we are going to live with parents for a few months. Hopefully he gets a job shortly after graduation and we can once again be self-reliant. Looking forward to some quality grandparent time for the kiddos and having a driveway to park in and a yard to play in and no stairs to climb (they were really becoming burdensome to my pregnant with two kids self).

The "Ber" Months

Jared has been in such a good mood lately because we officially entered what he calls the "Ber" Months in September. Now that October is here, I am getting on board with his excitement because the weather is cooling off. So much to look forward to in our little family in the "Ber" Months. We start with Ethan's b-day at the end of the month, Halloween, Grayson's B-day, Thanksgiving, new nephew should arrive in early December, and then Christmas! We are also hoping to add finalization of our short-sale to that list. Just ready for that to be over with already.

Sorry that I don't have new pics for you. Unfortunately, I broke my camera while trying to take a picture of a praying mantis. He got irked by my intrusion and jumped on my face! I freaked out and dropped the camera and it is no longer able to focus to take a picture. Bummer, dude!

I will be trying to upload video soon, though. Grayson started walking a few weeks ago and has gotten pretty good at it. He is soooooo cute and proud of himself.

September Thoughts

Grayson and Ethan are both getting too big, too fast! I'm going to turn around and have sons that have families of their own any day now. I can hardly stand it. Here's what's on my mind this September. I'll do 9 things since this is the 9th month of the year.

1. Can't believe I have two children and another on the way. It seriously freaks me out and brings me so much joy all at the same time. Not sure how that is possible, but it is.

2. So thrilled that Jared is now 3 months away from graduation. What a journey it has been for both of us. Next step, better-paying job so I don't have pressure to work. Trying very hard to not let this stress me out.

3. The marathon that has been the "short-sale" of our home (total misnomer by the way) may possibly be coming to an end this month. I hate being at the bank's mercy. It pains me to leave because we are losing so much equity in what was our first home filled with so many memories. Although, I am excited to have enough space for our growing family and a yard for these crazy boys to expel their energy in. (Also, ecstatic that I won't have to climb so many stinkin' stairs!)

4. Missing Kevin, Melissa, and Nathan so much and they have only been gone a week! Ethan will miss his cousin and friend and I will miss my sister-in-law and friend. I really love those guys and hope that all their dreams come true in their new home.

5. It's been nearly a year since my sweet Nana Grace passed away. She definitely kissed little Grayson on his way done. I think he's just about as sweet as she was and even looks like a little Pomar. Nana is my hero and I hope to be like her some day. I love finding little reminders of her everywhere I look, including those crazy lizards flashing their red handkerchiefs.

6. Ethan is potty-trained! We still have a couple accidents a week, but he is officially wearing big boy briefs (his favorites are Buzz Lightyear and Thomas the Train). I am so proud of him, you'd think he cured cancer or something. Heck! I'm proud of myself seeing as I think all the gray hairs I have came from this experience. Hardest thing I've had to do in a long time!

7. I know I have a lot of less conservative friends and family that were happy to see Prop 8 overturned in California. I don't usually express my political views, especially when they get muddled up with my religious beliefs; however, I was disappointed to see the voters cast aside in lieu of one judge's opinion. Kind of made me wonder what's the point in voting after all. Hate seeing democracy fail and I've decided maybe I should become a conspiracy theorist and stop trusting the government at all.

8. Have totally started feeling baby #3 move around. He's really on his way and I hope he doesn't pick up on the crazy energy that is his mommy and turn out to be unstable when he arrives.

9. I seriously love my family and by family I mean my family of origin, my in-law's, the family Jared and I are creating, my church family, and all my wonderful friends that feel like family! I don't know why I have been so blessed with so many people to love in this life, but I am truly grateful. It is exciting and tear-inducing to see such lovely things happen in the lives of those I love.

Some New Pics

Life has been a little stressful lately. Just so many things happening all at once makes for one overwhelmed pregnant lady! I have neglected my blog. August has brought hot weather, an ever-growing baby bump, and success in the ways of potty-training. So, good things are happening along with the less-than-pleasant things. Jared began his final semester at UCF on Monday! He will graduate December 17! Anyone who knows of any IT/Business Related Jobs, let us know: ) Here are some pictures for you.

12 Week Ultrasound shows a healthy baby...BOY! That's right, boy number 3. I'm excited, Jared's disappointed he still doesn't have a little girl. The hardest part is finding a name, so maybe we should do a contest of something to pick the name out.

Grayson peeking out the window. He is now a mover and a shaker. He is crawling and is super fast, pulling up and cruising all over the furniture. He has started standing and letting go of things and keeping his balance and has even tried a few steps. Always resulting in falls, which is fine with me because I hate that he's getting to be so big.

Sporting his Jeans Diaper. Couldn't resist his cuteness. He needs a haircut here and was given one shortly after this picture was taken. He's had three haircuts and is only 9 months old. He had a doctor visit last week and weighed in at 20 lbs, 14 oz and was 28 inches long. He's growing fast and loves to eat!

Jared is now Phoebe's groomer! She is a good sport and looks great post-haircut. Glad Jared was up for this because it will save us hundreds each year. Her haircuts are twice as often and twice as much as mine!

Ethan hanging out in his tent, wearing big boy pants! He is potty-trained! Only minimal accidents each week. I am so proud of him. Even had that little swelling in my heart.

Turning 30

Okay, so I turned 30 last week. Crazy talk! I used to think that was so old, but I don't feel old. Turns out I was totally wrong, which is not a new thing for me at all. We celebrated my b-day with the Hesson's on a little miniature vacation. Dad turned 57 a couple days after me, so it was like old times. Seems like we were always on vacation growing up for mine and Dad's b-days. We also went to Hollerbach's Willow Tree Cafe (an authentic German restaurant) with the Krause's the weekend before my b-day. It wasn't originally intended to be a birthday bash, but kind of turned into one. I am so blessed to be a part of two amazing families and to have the friends I do. I have never felt so loved. Here are some fun pics from our trip and a few random ones too.

Cranky after a long day at the pool and no nap!

Sweet baby Grayson snuggling with his Papa!

30 and looking good! LOL!

My family! Hard to believe I have been preggers 3 of my last 4 birthdays.

Ethan's building. Love that he placed his cars on top of the towers and love how Grayson looks like Godzilla or something in the background.

I think being 30 is going to be good. My mother in law assures me that her 30's were her best years. I can see that. I know who I am and know not to compromise that for anything in the world. I have two beautiful boys and another baby on the way. I am married to the best man in the universe for me! I have family and friends that love me and that I love so much. Sure, there are plenty of things that can get me down (just ask Jared), but when I look at the big picture and remember my perspective, it is amazing how much the Lord has blessed me with. I don't feel like I deserve the blessings they are just so abundant. Yeah, I think 30 is going to be a great year!

July is already half gone

July is already half gone and I can't seem to figure out where it went. We did enjoy the 4th Krause style and attended the First Annual Pomar Family Reunion. Fun was had by all and I have the photos to prove it. I have been spending these hot summer days lazily in my house being the world's worst mom. I feel pretty terrible with this pregnancy and am looking forward to the 2nd trimester. We are due on February 22, 2011. This little Krause must be in a hurry to get here because we were a little surprised to find out we were pregnant again. Maybe it'll be our little girl. We'll just have to wait and see.

Jared and Ethan swimming at Uncle David and Aunt Teresa's.

Grayson enjoying his new buddy, Uncle David.

Lyla in a cute, blue swimmy suit.

Ethan loves watermelon!

Lyla LOVES watermelon!

Krause Cousins on the 4th of July.

Uncle Kevin and Grayson!

Ethan and Nathan swinging!

Ethan's newly discovered snuggly spot. He did this all on his own folks.

Father's Day

You know, I suppose most people blog about all the great things in their lives. I know that I usually tend to focus on the positive. If I don't I feel I become ungrateful and can dig a hole that really bums me out. One of the greatest things in my life is my husband, Jared. He is so good to me! And, he's so good to our children! I think they are pretty blessed to have them as their dad. On Father's Day we tried to make things extra special for Jared. We gave him the standard card (made by Ethan) and polo shirt. We also special-ordered some BYU Creamery ice cream, which all of us got to enjoy. And, I had Ethan make him a tie to wear to church today. (I saw this done by another family and made a mental note to do it once Ethan was big enough.) Jared wore it all day! You can tell he was proud of that tie.

Homemade Tie.

Sunglasses.

First try with watermelon was a success.

Brothers in coordinate jammies. Didn't even do that on purpose.

Snuggly after some swimming time.

Sweet potato explosion.

Naked pirate.